The unreasonable God
and what He teaches us about maternal love
There are things that only I can do. There are many things I have to do and even more I could do. But there is one thing where I am irreplaceable: as a mom, I love my children. I am the only mom they have.
I invite you to be inspired to do what only you can do: Love your kids as a mom. Are you ready? Then let’s learn from the one who calls himself “Love”, God himself. I claim: God’s love is unreasonable. Why?
Because he wants us
God’s love for us humans is shown in the Bible in his treatment of the people of Israel. God chooses them as his people. In this way, all the nations of the world are to recognize that there is a God who is like no other. Why does God choose a people that is small, insignificant, weak and enslaved in Egypt? There is only one reason: unreasonable love. God’s love is a model for us mothers. Can we say to each of our children with all our heart: I want you! I have chosen you?
Here’s the first challenge: saying yes to your child! That’s easier said than done. The child may be born at a bad time. The pregnancy is a surprise. You actually had completely different plans. Perhaps your partner is presenting you with a terrible choice or your child is born with a disability. You may have imagined pregnancy and birth differently and need time to say yes to your child. You are not the only one who feels this way.
Sometimes joy and motherlove are there from the very first moment of pregnancy and sometimes they only develop later. We give our children a great gift when we say: I want you. Just as you are. It may be unreasonable, but I love you.
This love gives the child space to develop. Of course we have dreams for our children, but often they are our dreams and not theirs. We want the best for our children and wish (let’s admit it!) that they were a little more like us. But our children have their own independent personalities.
Sometimes this is unsettling for us or we fear that our children will get into trouble as a result. Why don’t they like books? How will they manage at school if all they can think about is soccer? Those are fair questions! But it’s good if one thing is never questioned: You are my child. I want you just the way you are.
Because he takes care of us
God not only chooses the Israelites, but also takes care of them. He wants them to be well and have a future full of hope. God leads them from slavery to freedom. He gives them an identity as a people and rules for living that enable them to live together peacefully. He promises them a country of their own and encourages them to trust in him.
Our love for our children is shown in exactly the same way: we care for them by feeding them, protecting them, carrying them, nursing them back to health and (very important!) helping them to sleep. We encourage them when school is not fun and keep telling them: You can do it.
There is no substitute for a mother’s words of encouragement. And they are heard, even if they don’t seem to be. Sometimes other voices seem much louder: Lies told by advertising, the media or peers. Thoughtless words sometimes have to be painfully coped with for years. There are so many bad and hateful words. This makes it all the more important as a mother to be a loud and constant voice of encouragement.
I find it particularly frustrating when my children say negative words and lies about themselves. I remember one of our girls sitting at the piano in despair and wanting to give up: “I’ll never make it. I can’t do this!” I felt helpless and angry. I saw so much more in her than she did. I saw what she had already learned, she saw what she couldn’t yet do. I was there to help her, but she wouldn’t let me.
Is it the same for God with me? He encourages me, but I talk myself down. He speaks perspective into my life, but I look at the negative. I am so grateful to God that he never stops encouraging us. Through the Bible, he comforts us, shows us new perspectives, offers his help and gives us strength. Let us allow God to encourage us so that we can encourage our children. I am convinced that the words of a loving mother do not remain without effect in the long term. You are and will remain one of the most important voices in your children’s lives – no matter how old they are.
Because he is faithful to us
When I read the story of the people of Israel, God’s faithfulness is unmistakable. When things go badly for them, they cry out to God, whereupon he rescues them from the hands of their enemies. Soon afterwards, they become ungrateful and disobedient. This leads them back into chaos. They call out to God, he saves them, but it’s not long before they trust in themselves or other gods again. It is a constant cycle.
It almost seems as if God can’t help but forgive again and again. This is unreasonable love. We can’t do anything to make God love us more and we can’t do anything to make him love us less.
What about us? How often will we forgive? How will we react when our love is put to the test? Do we love our children regardless of their behavior? Children often show, if not their best side, then at least their good side when they are away from home. As soon as they get home, they let out frustration and anger. It’s as if they want to test us: Do you still like me when I misbehave?
When one of our children was particularly thorny, I deliberately sat down at his bedside in the evening and said the most important words a child can hear: “I love you.” I admit, sometimes it was an effort. I didn’t always feel like it, but I still wanted them to hear it: My love for you is unconditional. Let’s never stop trying to find a way to our children’s hearts.
What a gift when a child can be sure of its Mom’s love. No matter what you do, I will always love you. No matter how old you are, I will remain your Mom. Our love is unreasonable and enduring.
Yes, I know from my own experience that it is much easier to love my child when they get up in the morning with a happy face, tidy their room, enjoy doing their schoolwork and say thank you for their food. But our children need our love precisely when they sit at the breakfast table with a long face, don’t feel like going to school and grumble about their food. It just shows that they are going through a lot. There’s one thing they shouldn’t have to worry about during this time: Whether Mom still loves them.
I sign cards for my children with: Forever your Mom. That’s exactly what I want to be. A mother who loves them faithfully and unconditionally. No one can do that for me. You are that Mom for your children. God has chosen you and he gives you the strength to love your children. God’s love can be an example for us. Let us love our children by saying yes to them, caring for them and being faithful to them.
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The pastor Heidi Wolff is part of the leadership team at Elim Church Hamburg, where she has been investing herself with her husband Matthias for over 30 years. Their shared passion is building churches and seeing people encounter God.
